Quick answer
What are grief and bereavement?
Grief is the natural response to losing someone or something you love, including a pet. There is no right way or timetable to grieve — feelings can include sadness, anger, guilt, numbness and physical exhaustion. Most people gradually adjust with time and support. Help is available if grief feels overwhelming or does not ease.
What is grief?
Grief is the natural response to losing someone or something important to you. Most often we think of grief after a death, but people also grieve other losses — the end of a relationship, a serious diagnosis, or the death of a much-loved pet. Grief is not a sign of weakness or something to be fixed; it is the price of having loved.
There is no single right way to grieve and no correct timetable. Your experience will be shaped by who or what you have lost, your relationship with them, and your own history.
What grief can feel like
Grief affects your emotions, your body and your behaviour. You might feel:
- deep sadness, longing or despair
- shock or disbelief, especially early on
- anger — at the situation, others, yourself, or the person who died
- guilt or regret about things said, unsaid or undone
- relief, particularly after a long illness — which is normal and nothing to feel ashamed of
- numbness, as if none of it is real
Physical effects are common too — exhaustion, trouble sleeping, loss of appetite, a tight chest, and difficulty concentrating. Feelings often come in waves, and can be triggered unexpectedly by a song, a smell or a date.
Losing a pet
For many people, a pet is a member of the family, and losing one — including making the difficult decision to have a pet put to sleep — can bring grief that is every bit as real and painful as losing a person. You may also feel guilt about the decision, even when it was the kindest choice.
Allow yourself to grieve without apology. It can help to mark the goodbye in a way that feels meaningful, to talk to people who understand the bond, and to be gentle with yourself. Pet bereavement support lines exist precisely because this loss matters.
What helps
- Let yourself feel it — there is no need to “be strong” or rush.
- Talk — share memories and feelings with people you trust, or a support group.
- Keep to gentle routines — eating, sleeping and moving, even a little, help.
- Mark the loss — rituals, anniversaries and keepsakes can give grief somewhere to go.
- Go easy on big decisions — give yourself time before major changes where you can.
Getting support
You do not have to grieve alone. Bereavement charities such as Cruse Bereavement Support offer free help, and your GP can arrange counselling or other support.
Reach out for help if grief feels unbearable, is not easing over many months, or is stopping you coping with daily life. Bereavement can lead to depression or anxiety, both of which are treatable. And if you ever feel that life is not worth living, please get help straight away — you matter, and support is available day and night.
If anxiety or stress is part of what you are coping with, brightloaf is a UK mental health app offering practical support, check-ins and short counselling sessions alongside other care.
This article touches on loss and mental health. If you are struggling, support is available and you do not have to face it alone.
Common questions about grief and bereavement
- What does grief feel like?
- Grief affects the mind and body. You may feel deep sadness, shock, anger, guilt, anxiety or even relief, sometimes all at once. Many people feel numb at first. Physical effects are common too — tiredness, trouble sleeping, loss of appetite, and difficulty concentrating. Feelings often come in waves rather than easing steadily.
- How long does grief last?
- There is no set timetable. Grief usually feels most intense in the early weeks and months, then gradually becomes easier to live with, although waves of sadness can return at any time — especially around anniversaries and special dates. Everyone is different, and taking longer than you expected does not mean you are doing it wrong.
- How do I cope with losing a pet?
- Losing a pet, including having a pet put to sleep, can cause grief as real as losing a person — pets are family, and the bond is profound. Allow yourself to feel the loss without judging it. Mark the goodbye in a way that feels right, talk to people who understand, and be patient with yourself. Pet bereavement support services and helplines can help.
- When should I get help for grief?
- Most people gradually adjust, but reach out if grief is not easing over many months, feels unbearable, or stops you eating, sleeping or coping. See a GP, who can arrange support or counselling. Bereavement can lead to depression or anxiety, which are treatable. Always seek urgent help if you have thoughts of harming yourself.
- What is complicated or prolonged grief?
- For most people grief slowly softens. For some it stays intense and disabling for a long time — this is sometimes called prolonged or complicated grief. Signs include being unable to accept the loss, intense longing that does not ease, and difficulty functioning many months on. Specialist support and talking therapies can help, so speak to a GP.